I can't have a sight about anxiety and panic and not touch on depression and how overwhelming the hopelessness really is. When I heard about Robin Williams and his struggle over the years with addiction, anxiety, depression and "abnormal mental health" I cried. I cried for him. I cried for myself and I cried for all of us out there who suffered and still suffer in silence.
Mental Illness is not understood and can't be seen by the average person. Those of us with it have learned how to hide it very well. It's a survival thing with us. We have to learn or we are treated as outcasts. We are considered "not normal". Some people are afraid of us. The reason for that could very well be that they see a little of themselves and do not want to be considered weak and messed up so they turn away from us.
If it wasn't such a stigma in our society more people would reach out for help and get it. Insurance doesn't pay for therapy which is a monumental need for many of us. If we can't get help because we can't afford it we end up in some pretty dark and dangerous places.
Lots of us self medicate which turns into addiction. Lots of us end up homeless because we couldn't afford medication or didn't want to admit we needed it or were too prideful to seek help. Lots of us learn coping mechanisms. Usually this kind of person isn't having debilitating issues. At least not to the point of being home bound or disabled. The more I learn about OCD the more I see a little of how functioning depressed or anxiety affected people actually function successfully. There are things we do to get through the day, the meeting, the drive, the waiting.
Over the past few years I have seen more and more attention and awareness brought to the mental health issue. Mass shootings and suicides have brought attention to it. More people are "coming out of the closet" so to speak because they want to help others who are struggling. I am very happy about that but it is still very "cloudy" do the majority of people and I still see a lot of my friends and family still putting there heads in the sand. I call them ostriches. They just can't deal with it and don't want to. It hurts to see that.
Robin Williams has single-handedly brought mental health to the forefront.
I feel every ounce of pain he must have been feeling.
I feel like I wish I knew him and could have spoken to him and told him about God and how knowing God has helped me.
I wish I could have helped him live a longer, happier life.
I wish I could have said, "if you think you are a burden or will be a burden, you are wrong"
I wish I could have said you are so loved.
I wish I could have said, I am here. I will talk. I will listen. I understand. I know. It really sucks but we have to try to stay for the ones we love.
I feel the torture he must have felt to get to the point of no return.
People all over are going to be talking about him and what happened and why it happened.
This is one of those times when God uses something sad and tragic and opens doors for millions of others.
Because it takes time and miracles to help someone believe they really are loved and there really is hope.
We know how they feel but most people don't know how to talk to them or how to just be there. And how to make sure that person has no guilt about what they think they seem like to others. There is a huge amount of education for the "normal" person and I pray they will want it and seek it out to help someone they may know who is suffering.
I pray now for his family who will go through so much, not only because their loved one was a public figure and famous, but because it is so hard to wrap your head around how that person must have been feeling.
- the agony and pain in his last day, hour, moment in time.
And all the what if questions they will ask themselves.
And the anger, when they realize there are no more chances, no more time, no more possibilities.
Yes I have been there when a loved one chose to leave before I could talk to them. All things I thought of after they were gone and there was no going back. It may not have helped but I will always wonder and I cannot ever forget. But I can go on and try to help someone else.
