Time just flew! I can't believe it is nearing the end of October. I always am surprised when it's time to close out the month at work when I feel like I just did that! Ugh! That's when I say "Wow, Another month, Done"!
I wanted to give an update to my experience at the Amen Clinic here in Atlanta. The last post was a general description of my 2nd visit. I am going to tell you about my first visit and then add to my second and then follow up with the After story.
I believe that any time we take action to help ourselves and especially go to a medical doctor or a therapist or a psychiatrist we tend to start to feel better because we have been proactive and talked to someone who actually wants to help and doesn't look at us like we are a circus freak.
I made the appointment with the hopes that Amen Clinics were studying the brain and mental illness exclusively and they might have some new cutting edge treatment in the works. I wanted to be a part of it (not a study but just find out the newest treatment that was working).
My first visit
-was rather scary and kind of fuzzy. I was in full blown panic almost every day.
It was time to go to my appointment and I don't like to be late. I found the complex but could not seem to find the building and office. For someone with panic disorder in the throws of constant onset panic, this can be a real problem. It can be stressful enough to make a person in this state turn around and head for home! But I persevered, walked all over the complex, asked some questions and finally found it tucked away in a different building than where I thought it was.
I was very proud of myself! Pat on the back!
Upon entering I was told I had to take a test that would last 20 minutes or so. I said I already spent 4 hrs on the computer at home taking tests. Did they lose my file? I started to get irritated. But I took the test (just a bunch of questions on a form). Easy but still very similar to what I had done before. I did it anyway. I wanted to get to the next part.
I was then called into an office by a sweet young girl who asked me a lot of more direct questions related to how I had answered the questions on the computer. It is hard to talk about those times and things that cracked my stress barrier. The one that if you take on too much stress you crack and start having panic attacks. Some people are lucky enough to have them go away forever. Mine have been on for most of 25 years and off for 1 1/2 years.
But I answered. She said at the end that she thought they could help me but didn't tell me how. She said the next time I come and see the doctor he will go over everything with me. I waited with great anticipation for that appointment a week later.
Second visit
- here we go - I am finally going to get cured. The doctor ushered me into his office, just like any other doctor I have been to except he had a bookshelf loaded with books on the study of the brain. I have been reading those books and all I could get my hands on for years trying to figure out what was wrong with my brain. I thought - "Awesome! Here is someone who understands and is an expert in this field. I can't wait to hear this."
He had a very long report in his hands and gave me a copy. We went over it together. It was basically all I had said in my answers, what level of panic the doctor thought I was, and what his recommendations are for my treatment. It was more about management, not cure. I said ok. Let's see what he adds to what I already know.
He got out some scans of someone elses brain and said "This is a scan of someone with 3 overactive areas in their brain. I think yours looks like but add the other 2 areas......and this is what you need to do". The report mentioned all 5 areas of the brain affected by panic. I didn't just have one overactive area but 5. It gave me a sense of validation that it is a chemical imbalance that is agited and prolonged. It can be managed. There wasn't any "Here's the cure you've been looking for" but I felt like there was some science behind all this and where there is science there can be breakthroughs. They just hadn't found it yet. There was hope!
I wanted more than hope. I wanted to be fixed. He did not tell me much more than I already knew. Everything he recommended I was already doing except the GABA I mentioned before. I also cannot take anti-depressents. My body reacts as if I am on a stimulant and I cannot handle it at all. That is why I take the Lamictal (which he also recommended). This is what I got for $1100.00 but if I leave with hope and a will to keep going and working toward managing my attacks and know that there is someone on our side out there trying to find a cure was worth every penny to me.
I do want to update you on the GABA. I did some research and saw most people saying that the kind of GABA you get from the health food store and the Amen Clinic (yes, they sell the products and DVDS - hate that is seems they are in the supplements industry and possibly playing on the fierce fear of people with ADD, ADHD, anxiety and panic disorders and the fear of their parents does want to make me throw up), could not pass through the Brain Blood Barrier so could not possiblly help.
Science always tugs at me, "find out more". So I called the doctor and he said it has been helping people. That's all he could say. I will say, whatever works. Sometimes belief and faith can and does play a huge role in our recovery. So if you think it is helping then take it. It's a good supplement. Our brain makes it. It does help the area affected in panic and anxiety when created naturally in the brain. It can't hurt. I chose to stop taking it until I can find one that is touted as making it through the Blood Brain Barrier. I also rely on God and my faith and the power of prayer and positive thinking. They are all valuable, priceless tools in our toolbox.
