You Are Not Alone!!

If you are like me you have been told by everyone from your doctors to your friends to people with panic who have posted or blogged or have their own panic websites that one of the biggest factors that keep us struggling with our panic is STRESS. The common solution is "there isn't anything else to do after we have mastered using our tools except "CHANGE OUR CIRCUMSTANCES/ENVIRONMENT". 

If we can remove ourselves from whatever may be causing our stress to be on overload we would have more peace. This is actually true and a proven fact for those of us with panic disorder. It has been stated over and over again. All of the websites I have shared with you have this as a piece of the puzzle to victory.

For more affirmation here is another website that has a been a big help to me. The woman who created it has put a lot of work into it and sincerely wishes to help us. She titles the site "No More Panic". It is based out of the UK. When I first found it I couldn't believe how many people all over the world suffer as I do. I felt vindicated, affirmed and finally, Not Alone.

I am one of those people who cannot change my circumstances in a significant way. I can only tweek them here and there so I do continue to struggle. However, I handle it better and better if I stay focused on others, God and not me, exercise, meditate and use all of the tools in my toolbox. It is a constant battle that is exhausting but at least I am not running out of the grocery store or bank or feeling like leaving my car at the stop light or in the traffic. I still don't like sitting in a traffic jam on the highway so will get off as soon as possible and take a different route. I always allow more time in case I need to do this. 

I will also usually offer to drive somewhere with the person I am with unaware that I am doing this to avoid a panic attack.

Our lives are disrupted by this kind of behavior but it's become more of an annoyance than a debilitating experience. I have my bad days when I fall apart wondering "why me". Why can I not be completely free of this? I will never have a normal life, etc. Then I see a homeless person, or a person without a limb or someone who is disfigured......you get the point. I realize how lucky I am to still have time to try to achieve victory. There is still a chance I will be free. Hope is what we live on. Sometimes what we have feels like a disability (one that no one can see so is not taken seriously). In fact, at times it almost feels worse because no one can see it.

I went to a doctor once to discuss the fact that my physical feelings when I get sick sometimes throw me into a panic attack so I don't know if there is something wrong with me or if I should see a doctor. I told him I wanted to find a doctor that would understand I need to see him more often than usual because I don't know sometimes where my symptoms are coming from. (Symptoms mimic other medical conditions). He immediately started screaming at me (I'm not kidding) that he would not discuss "anxiety" with me or anyone. He did this in front of a medical student who was shadowing him that day. I was mortified. He treated me like I wasn't worthy of his medical care. In this day and age still many medical doctors do not even want to go there. He said to go see a psychiatrist.

What I was trying to do was find a medical doctor that was sympathetic and knowledgeable about panic and how it affects us physically. Sometimes all we need to know is that no, we are not having a heart attack or we don't have a deadly disease. And we feel that only a medical doctor can correctly diagnose this. I still have not found that "doctor" that can treat me with an understanding of the condition that I have and just be there. (I pay to see him so why should he care that I may not be sick physically at the time or my physical condition could be aggravated by my panic). In turn, stress not only affects our panic disorder it also affects us physically and CAN cause disease to come into our bodies. The two are related. When I find that doctor I will let you know.

When you can't change your circumstances all you can do is hold on, seek anything that can give you some peace, try to find out if you boss would be understanding and maybe let you work from home, believe that you will get better, work really hard to get out of the house and do things (the more you work on this the more you will see improvement).

And last but not least there is medication. Many people are afraid of medication but it really can make the biggest difference. Talk to your doctor.

I do want to say one thing in case one of you has tried every single anti-depressant out there and cannot take them because the way you react to them is feeling like you want to jump out of your skin which in turn brings on more panic. All doctors will tell you to try one. They do help many people but for those of us that they don't help this is what I found:

I was speaking with a psychiatrist friend one day and telling him my troubles with anti-depressants. He explained that my body chemistry reacts opposite of other people's body chemistry to anti-depressants and that I needed to try (and I did not like hearing this) bi-polar medication in very small doses. So I went to my doctor. We discussed this and his recommendation was to try Lamictal. He wanted me to work up to 100mg. I never got there. I was fine on 25. I now break my 25mg in half. (I can tell when I haven't taken my Lamictal). It's all about what you need and you are the only one who knows how your body feels when taking any kind of drug. It seems to help take the edge off and it's such a small dose most doctors snicker when they hear it. I am very petite. No two bodies are alike. 

 My motto is less is better but you do have to experiment. Do it gradually and under a doctor's care. I also take 5HTP (50mg). I can also tell when I haven't been taking it. It is not harmful. You can buy it over the counter at any drug store or health food store. I like a particular brand. Studies of the brain have shown that depleted 5HTP can be an underlying factor in some of us who have panic attacks. (It's described as a natural anti-depressant). The first time I heard about 5HTP was on PBS. I was watching Dr Amen. You should do your own investigation on Dr Amen and his study of the brain. Look him up. Some people don't like him. I said to myself, what can it hurt? I've tried everything.

Disclaimer****Please note that these are the medicines and treatments that have helped me. I am not telling you what to do with your particular situation. Whenever I hear about a new drug or treatment I do my due diligence and research and speak with medical professionals and take them only with my doctors knowledge. Some medicines react with other medicines. So just be SMART!!!